Joyful Tree Friends
by Phoenix Reece
Summary: The world of Happy Tree Friends. The Tragedy of LISA. Based off of LISA: The Painful RPG
1. Joyful

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Is this really how I used to do it? Gosh. It's been so long

How have you been? I suppose I should offer you something. Tea? I could make tea. No milk though. It went bad a long time ago. Never mind the tea. I mean who'd want it without milk? Done anything interesting lately? I haven't. Been taking music lessons on the side. Still not too good at it.

I'm sorry, we should get started

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

Lumpy was a man. People knew that. They knew he was a bit dim and that he worked down at the construction site. A few people knew that he was strong; they'd seen him lift things most people couldn't. His bartender knew a few more things about him, things Lumpy would open up with when he took a drink, but even he didn't know everything about Lumpy.

Lumpy hated. That was the thing nobody knew, but he did. He hated most everything. He hated waking up early in the morning. He hated the early morning drive to work and he hated work itself. He hated his boss. He hated his co workers. He hated the feeling in the pit of his stomach he got every night when he gripped a cold beer at the edge of the bar and he hated the way the bartender looked at him. He wasn't really sure why he felt that way, but he did. He just couldn't call the feelings he felt anything but hate. But he didn't know why.

He thought about how unfulfilled he was. About how he never did anything. He never really felt control in his life. He was just shunted from place to place. He didn't know how he handled it.

It was thick skin, really, that kept people from knowing just how he felt. A thick skin's an odd thing. Most people have them so that things, things like the world or your boss's insults or the empty side of your bed, can't get to you. But some people had a thick skin because they didn't want things getting out of them and into the world. Lumpy didn't want people to know how much he hated. He didn't want people to see the miserable bile that hid just below the top of his throat.

So he wrapped himself up in his thick skin. He got quiet. He did his job and kept his head low and dimmed his lights with cheap liquors and always made sure he was up in the morning to do it all again.

He did a good job of it. Though, to be honest, it wasn't all his doing. The little pills helped. He knew he shouldn't, but they made it easier. He took them. He felt like he didn't hate when they were inside of him. He hated himself for taking them. He hated himself when he tried to stop. He was happy when he took them. He was in that cycle. He stayed there for ten years.

…

Five years after those ten years, Lumpy still hated most everything. Things were different now, but worse and so he still hated most things. His boss was dead. That was nice. In fact, if there was any small mercy in Lumpy's life, it was that there was much less to hate. He had a small life in a small house on the outskirts. He had two friends he knew from work. He didn't really like them, but he didn't really have space to complain. They spent their days sitting around in their hut. They grew potatoes out back and they fermented them into liquor. They drank. They slept. They talked and they didn't feel much. They fought with other guys. They survived.

Lumpy's strength helped them survive. He was stronger than anyone. It helped with the hard labor and it helped with the bartering. It helped keep people away. The only person it didn't help was Lumpy himself. He wasn't that strong. That's why he needed the pills. He took them when it got too much to handle. Things were too much to handle often, but he always had more pills. He didn't know what he'd do without them.

Lumpy needed the pills to feel happy. It was almost like he just lived to take them. He thought about what it meant. He never thought more clearly than when he was thinking about Joy. He'd spend hours looking at the little blue pill in his hand before inevitably swallowing it. It was during one of these perverse meditations that everything changed.

He heard crying.


	2. Joyful 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Christ. Did I really do this?

We're not getting anywhere are we?

Let's just keep it going. We'll see where we end up.

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

He was rolling the little pill around between his fingers. He felt bile in his throat. He wasn't sure if he was disgusted with himself, or if he was physically ill. His muscles twitched when he looked at it, so it might've been the latter. It didn't really matter though. Lumpy didn't really care how much he hated himself when the high ended. When his tongue swelled and his mouth watered, when his body ached and his eyes throbbed, when he knew he couldn't take it anymore; he'd pop another pill.

They tasted horrible. He had to swallow them whole, the whole grape-sized pill. They smelled like buttercups.

It was on his tongue. He was ready to finally let it go sliding down his throat.

He almost didn't hear the crying.

The pill, a perfectly round little marble, nearly fell from his finger tips when he heard it. He didn't let it fall of course, he tucked it into his pocket, but still it nearly slipped his grasp.

The crying was just beyond the rock ridge, where he had always gone to sit and fight a fruitless battle against a little piece of sweet relief. He couldn't ignore it if he tried. It was so close that every rock he looked behind felt like it could've been the source of it. And then, just when he was ready to count it all off as a side effect of his withdrawl and lip the pill down his throat, he saw her.

She was wailing. The blanket she was wrapped in seemed warm, but the evening winds meant that nothing outside of a hut and a fire could really be warm, so to Lumpy it clearly meant she was half frozen. He scooped the bundle up and rocked the child back and forth.

"There there... C'mon now."

Lumpy whispered to the child. He ran a hand across her white furred face. She stopped crying. She looked at him just like he looked at her.

"Yeah, that's it, buddy. You're gonna be okay."

He rocked her a bit. She smiled at him. He tossed her in the air. She laughed. He tossed her once more and she slipped out of his hands, landed on the hard rock floor. She was silent. He gasped.

…

The little bundle had forgiven him, of course. He wasn't sure if it was benevolent or just too stupid, but the child had forgiven him easily. He carried her back to camp with the sun on his shoulders. Sniffles had already started a fire. Cuddles had grabbed some food.

"Hey." Cuddles said, "Lumpy, what've you got? Meat? Look I already-"

"It's a baby." Lumpy said plainly.

Sniffles adjusted his glasses, "Holy shit."

"Is... Is it a girl?" Cuddles asked.

Lumpy felt his body tense up, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Cuddles held a hand up in halfhearted defense,

"J-jeez Lumpy. I was just wondering. I mean if it was a girl then... Well you know."

Lumpy held the bundle in one arm. With a finger, he pulled down the cloth that covered her otherwise naked body.

"...It is a girl."

There was silence. The fire itself seemed to hush its crackling. The silence held for what felt like an hour, until Cuddles had cleared the wad in his throat and managed to say,

"We should..." He was still unsure, "We should bring her to Giggles. She'd be-"

"Shut the fuck up." Lumpy said. He started walking towards their hut, "You know we can't do that. She's only safe with us."

Sniffles, who had tried to tend the fire to keep his mind off of this, finally spoke up, "Y-yeah. Lumpy's right. I don't like Giggles. We should... just keep her safe for now."

Cuddles had more to say. He didn't say it.

Lumpy nodded towards the both of them, "So we're agreed? We keep her safe. You know what she means, so.

"Be ready to die."


	3. Joyful 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

God. This is harder than I remember

Maybe a drink will help

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

The next week was spent digging a basement in the hut to hide Buddy in. The next nine years were spent raising her. It wasn't easy for the three assholes to try and tend a kid after spending as long as they could remember hiding, drinking and fighting. They managed. They kept her hidden in the basement. They let her come out at night to look at the stars, but other than that she had to be content with living in the dirt and rock. Lumpy traded some mags for some paint. She thanked him by painting the walls of her little prison. And his face.

Sometimes she'd try to sneak out. Lumpy couldn't blame her, even though he'd stop her every time. Eventually he realized she couldn't be kept hidden all her life. He made her a crude mask so she could go out with him and see the little village where he'd trade for jerky and liquor. But only ever with him. Cuddles and Sniffles weren't allowed to take her out unless Lumpy was also there. He was always so protective of her.

It wasn't easy. The pills had to go. Lumpy found himself drinking more often, but it was better than the pills. He craved them. Constantly kept them with him. He tried to toss them off a cliff once, in an act of defiance against his broken will, but before the end of the week he found himself at the base of the cliff picking them out of the dirt. He couldn't bring himself to get rid of them and he couldn't bring himself to swallow them. He'd hide from Buddy sometimes and sit, just rolling the blue pills in his

It was on one of those days, high noon, that Lumpy heard someone scream for help. He normally wouldn't bother, but something in the back of his head shunted him towards a naive idea of helping whoever it was. He stuffed the pills into his pocket and darted to a cliff's edge where the scream was now being joined by barking.

Some scraggly looking asshole was stuck in a tree, clinging to it by the seat of his leopard-print pants

"Hello there! Could you help me out? Th-that ravenous beast is trying to make a meal out of me!"

Lumpy looked up at the tree. His eyes traced down to the beast that had him cornered: A small bulldog. He narrowed his eyes.

"Alright." Lumpy reached out to grab the dog and it snapped around to attack him. He was knocked to the ground, it pounced on him and tried to snap at his throat. His large, clumsy hands wrapped around its head and he squeezed it. The dog clawed and scratched, yelped and squealed. It drew bloody slits across Lumpy's arms and chest a dozen times over before he finally twisted its head in such a way to snap it. The dog went limp and he threw it aside. He wasn't really good at this.

The asshole jumped down out of the tree. His landing was surprisingly graceful. He bowed

"I thank you, squire! Just a joke, just a joke. You should expect such winning humor when you're in the presence of Toothy Hintz, the Hint master! Yes, tis I, the lord of the tutorial."

Lumpy turned away, "I don't have time for this shit."

"W-wait, hold on!" Toothy scrambled to catch up with Lumpy's long gait, "I still need help! I don't know if you noticed, but that dog had a collar on it. Someone is hunting me, and a hero like myself needs a party to stay safe. I'm sure I can reward you for your help..."

Lumpy stopped.

"If you're being hunted, you need to get the hell away from me."

"B-but... I uh." Toothy couldn't keep talking. His stomach turned and roared. Lumpy looked down at him. He could see how loose Toothy's shirt was. His cheekbones were poking out of the side of his

"Christ." He shook his head, "Okay. I can get you something to eat and a hard drink. You can spend a night. Then you get out..."

Toothy threw himself at Lumpy's legs, "Ahaha, thank you! Thank you! You won't regret this friend, I'll-"

Lumpy pushed some space between them

"Listen. You don't get to come inside my home. There's... a thing in there. I don't want people knowing about it. You'll sleep outside with a fire."

"Yeah... okay. That'll work."

They walked in silence. The sun was just setting. Lumpy knew there should be a fire outside his hut. There wasn't. Signs of a struggle littered around the hut at least five yards in either direction. Sniffles was there, slumped up against the entrance to the hut. Blood was splattered across his face and his stomach had a deep gash in it. In his hand he held a knife that was soaked from blade to handle in his own blood.

Lumpy crouched next to him. He was shaking inside, but his face was stony.

Sniffles gagged on something. Blood probably.

"Sorry Lumpy... I know how much you love her but." He spat up something that looked like blackened vomit, "I don't know who they were. They got her. I don't know what happened to Cuddles. ...I think I'm gonna die."

He closed his eyes.

"I uh..." Sniffles said, "I'm sorry. Shit I said that already. I'm just gonna... sleep a bit. You can get her back. I'll catch up..."

He started breathing slowly. He stopped breathing. Lumpy stood up. He looked inside the hut. It was torn up nearly as bad as Sniffles was. No sign of anyone. Empty bottles rattled at his feet. Toothy peeked in behind.

"You're still here?" Lumpy said.

Toothy swallowed hard, "You're... I can see in your face. You're going after whoever did this, r-right?"

Lumpy didn't respond.

"So... there's a few of them. It looks like, at least. You need help, don't you? Well I owe you my life after that incident with the pooch. Heck, who knows? Maybe these were the same guys who sicced that mutt on me! We can both take our revenge!"

"...Okay. Then let's get going."

"Right!" Toothy pumped his fist in the air, "The start of our adventure! Toothy and… uh."

"Lumpy."

""The best of friends!"

Somewhere near, a man was flicking a knife up in the air, alternating between catching it by the blade and catching it by the handle. He was watching. He was getting a little upset. He had been missing Lumpy. His closest friend in the world had just stopped showing up one day. It was downright crushing. And now? Now he's with some new goon? It was just plain rude.

He'd have to go see him.


	4. Joyful 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

I can't tell if this is working.

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

"Are you sure this is safe? I mean, not that I doubt you or anything but-"

"It's just a cave."

"Right I just... uh, normally avoid these because. N-no you're right. Let's go! Pal!"

Lumpy shook his head. He had to duck to squeeze into the entrance to the small cavern. This was the way he'd always go to avoid getting mugged on his way to the village. Nobody ever went into these caves. They were way too dangerous.

The entrance was the tightest part, thankfully, and Lumpy had much more headroom in the cavern proper. There were ridges all around them, and a few cracks in the ceiling where moonlight shone in, but there were candles left around and the path through was as straightforward as it could be. Just a straight shot from one end to the other, then they could figure out where those psychos that took her went and-

"I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart."

Lumpy's chest seized with fear. Someone was singing. Alone. A match lit on a ledge above them. He was looking down at them. Voices all around them joined in.

"Down in my heart." They sang in unison.

"Where?"

"Down in my heart." They replied.

He sat on the ledge above them. He looked at them underneath his helmet. Torches lit up all around them. Faces wearing pink masks that smiled and leered. The shadows behind the masks shuffled forward. One sidled up next to Toothy and pressed a cold barrel into his temple.

"Uh... does this normally happen when you come through here, Lumpy?

He didn't dignify Toothy's question with a response.

The fellow up on the ledge hummed a bit to himself, then spoke, "Lumpy... I'm hurt. We haven't spoken in... what must be a year! A year! And now I find out that you're seeing this new friend? Did you replace me, Lumpy? Did you forget about what I've done for you? All my presents? All my little bundles of JOY?"

He rolled a little blue pill inbetween his fingers. He flicked it down at Lumpy's face. Lumpy let it bounce off his shoulder and roll across the ground.

The guy frowned, "That's no fun. I remember when you used to scramble like a dog to lick those up off the floor. What happened? Is it this new guy?" He turned to Toothy and smiled, "Hi new guy. Name's Flippy. I'm Lumpy's best buddy. We go way back. I don't like him much anymore. He's not as fun as he used to be. So I'll tell you what, Lumpy, friend, pal, buddy. We're gonna have a little game. Just a quickie. Then you can go about your business."

Flippy jumped off the ledge, landing right in front of Lumpy.. A friend of his handed him a torch and another handed him a machete.

"This'll be quick. I promise." Flippy smiled. He put the machete on Lumpy's shoulder.

"Your friend. Or your arm This one. I'm partial to it. Give it to me. I'm not partial to your friend though. If you give him to me, I'm going to throw him away."

The friend beside Toothy jabbed him with the gun barrel, "L-lumpy?!"

"Shut up." Flippy told Toothy, then turned back to Lumpy, "So what's it-"

"The arm." Lumpy said.

Flippy frowned. He stood up straight. "Really? You didn't even let me finish. Do you… think you're so resolute? That you're strong? You're not a hero Lumpy. You know that? You're only doing this because you think you owe-"

"You said this would be quick." Lumpy stuck out his arm. "Make it quick."

Flippy almost gritted his teeth. Almost. He was better than that. He drew back, halfway into the shadows, then lunged forward again. There was a thick slap of blade meeting meat, then meeting bone. Lumpy's arm had just fallen to the ground before one of Flippy's friends snatched it up and retreated to the shadows. Lumpy had trouble standing, but Flippy caught him before he fell.

"Hold on there good buddy," He whispered, "We gotta get that... fixed up for you."

He pressed his torch into the wound. Lumpy let out a choking, gargling moan. His flesh bubbled and seared. The bleeding stopped, the bit of bone left sticking out what blackened. Flippy held him for a second more, then tossed him into Toothy. The two of them fell over each other and before Toothy could get Lumpy's body off of him, Flippy was gone. All of his friends had disappeared too. All that was left of them was a little blue pill sitting in a crack of moonlight.

Toothy felt like he was gonna piss himself.

...

"...could you really believe it? Fucking potato salad! That dumb cow of a wife... ...Sweet lemon... God rest her soul..."

Lumpy woke up wrapped in a blanket. He was leaned up against the rusted wall of a tin shack. A barrel fire sat on the far end of the room, Toothy and some old guy sat on the near end, both had stools and were sharing a bowl of something that smelled delicious. The guy hadn't stopped talking.

"The recipe was alright. I mean, it wasn't anything special. I had eaten better potato salad, but it had a friendly tang to it. The principal of the matter wasn't that it was BAD potato salad, but she had the nerve to show up to the block party with such a shitty dish. It was like the dumb bitch had planned this. Like it was some kind of punishment meant to embarrass me. As if having a wife that looked like her wasn't bad enough. I mean really! I'm nearly glad the flash happened. If there was any solace it was that she can't piss me off anymore. Jesus christ I miss her so much. God rest her soul."

"Oh hey," Toothy had noticed Lumpy, "He woke up!"

"Ah good! Good! Give him some of that." the guy gestured to the bowl in front of him, "He needs something to get his strength back." The guy nodded, "Needs it. Lost a lot of blood. Hadn't seen a wound that bad since..."

The old guy kept rambling while Toothy passed a bowl of soup into Lumpy's remaining hand. Toothy helped him tip it to his lips. It was mostly hot water and cabbage, but the geezer had gotten his hands on some spice. Really made up for the lack of ingredients.

"Who's he?" Lumpy asked.

"His name's Pop. I don't know who he is, but when I dragged you out of the cave he spotted me and brought us inside. I guess he's alright."

"Yeah. Looks like it."

"But he doesn't stop talking."

"Yeah. Looks like it."

Pop nodded and sipped something out of a clay cup,

"Yeah... I think I should say, you fellas look like you're in a bad spot. You both look like a couple of lost puppies. Reminds me of myself at that age. Ha! That age. You two are a couple of sad old men yourselves, huh? Well I meant when I was more around the twenties. Maybe the thirties. I didn't meet her until I was about 27 anyway. God she was a bitch. But she pulled me out of that slump, so that's something. Had some more direction to her than I did. God rest her soul. Shame about that flash. Really tore the place up. Kinda feel lost without her. Even if she tried to force that god awful potato salad on me. So I guess what I'm meaning to say is, you fellas need some guidance. I'm a little bit better than just spinning your wheels in the dirt, wouldn't you say? We can get a bit more done together. Keep each other company. I can tell you're gonna need all the help you can get with whatever this kid was talking about."

He gestured towards Toothy, "Mentioned you were hunting down some fuckers that killed your friends. Well I'm looking for some excitement. Let's go first thing in the morning. You me and him."

Lumpy shook his head, "The hell use are you gonna be, old man? This party's too crowded anyway."

Pop pulled a pistol from the tattered robe wrapped around his waist, "I've got a gun!"

Toothy looked to Lumpy. Lumpy raised his brow.

"Alright. You're in."


	5. Joyful 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

I wonder if there's any of you guys left

If any of you remember  
It's been so long. I just… want to impress you.

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

Lumpy hated it. He hated waking up in the morning, he hated numbing his way through the day. He hated the people around him. He hated the way that skinny fucker looked at him when he passed the pills into his hands. He hated the feeling of swallowing them. He hated puking afterwards.

But he loved the pills. He loved feeling okay. He loved the tingle. The numbness. He loved her. He loved her body. He loved the feeling of it. He loved her beneath him.

He hated the way she screamed. The way she dug her nails into his arms until she drew blood. The way that the scars never really healed. He hated the way she looked at him. Those dead eyes.

He hated that he was still alive and she wasn't.

…

Lumpy choked. He was still here, in that little shack. He'd fallen asleep with one of Pop's burlap blankets draped over him. He didn't remember having it on him, but Toothy was sleeping next to him and had one too, so he figured that Toothy must've given him one when he nodded off.

"Ah, you're awake." Pop was sitting by the open door, puffing on a pipe.

"You were awake all night?"

"Ha! No, it's just dawn. I always wake up early. I suppose it's a leftover from back when I had to limp out the door every morning to get the paper for that potato bitch wife of mine. She'd moan all morning if she didn't have a paper to read while the coffee brewed. Dumb slut couldn't even make rest her soul." He puffed again, "It's crazy how it happened so fast. That bright light. I was sleeping when it happened and it woke me right up. I thought it was those fucking kids down the streets shining their high beams through my window again. But it wasn't. And then she was gone. All of 'em."

Lumpy's head hurt.

"Yeah. Pretty fucked up."

"You set to travel there, pal? You look a little roughed up."

Lumpy stood. His head nearly hit the top of the small shack, "I don't really have a choice. You still coming?"

"Well I said I would, didn't I?" Pop smiled at him, "Besides, I'm getting old and I don't feel like dying in this shack."

Lumpy nodded. He gave Toothy a quick kick in the side.

"Oof! Why did you… Oh hey Lumpy! Are we, uh, is it morning?"

Lumpy nodded.

Pop poured some of his soup into some old beer bottles and tucked them away. Lumpy dusted off his poncho. Toothy brushed his teeth with some dirty water. The sun was not yet up and the three slipped out with dawn still on their backs.

…

Cuddles had never seen so much barbed wire in his life. Every guard he passed stared him down. He was wearing their colors now, why were they still so hostile towards him? The rifle they'd given him should have reassured him, but it felt unbearably heavy on his back as he walked.

"I just need to talk to her." Cuddles said under his breath, to nobody but himself.

He climbed up the short hill to her hut with what felt like everyone in the camp's eyes burning holes in his back. The door of her "office" was wide open, so she saw him through the smoke of her fire pit before he'd even come inside. She was laying on a single bed in the room, one covered in pillows.

"You again?" She hissed. The cigarette in her mouth remained firmy tucked into one side of her mouth while she rasped through the other, "What the fuck do you want, you sniveling faggot?"

Cuddles grimaced. In the heavy smoke that filled the room, the face that Giggles wore stretched over her own almost looked like it belonged there. Almost.

"I just, uh,"

He heard her growl. She hated hesitation.

"I just wanted to know what's happened with Buddy."

She inhaled hard, blew smoke out of her nostrils, "What the fuck do you mean? She's still alive as far as I know. You wanna go see her then go to the cages."

"You're keeping her there?"

Giggles choked out a quick laugh. A strained bounce of her diaphragm, "Yeah, you got a problem? We're gonna keep her in the cage where you sick fucks can't get at her. She'll be fed and clothed and when her twat starts bleeding then one of you can take a shot at breeding her."

Cuddles felt sick. He wanted to say something to her.

"Okay." He nodded.

He didn't say it. He turned and left. He'd go see her, and maybe that would make her feel better.

…

"So where exactly are we headed?"

Toothy asked his compatriots as they slogged through the dirt. There didn't seem to be much in either direction. Nobody responded. Toothy sidled up to Lumpy and asked again,

"So where are we headed?"

Lumpy raised an eyebrow at him, "The closest camp here? Y'know, the one where everyone meets and drinks or trades or something?"

"Oh. I've never been." Toothy smiled nervously.

Lumpy asked, "Where are you from then? I mean if you've never been to the camp."

"I live around here. Just a ways over the ridge."

Lumpy thought for a moment, then asked, "You have trouble talking to people or something?"

"C-course not! I mean, I'm the hint master! I have to be, uh, eloquent if I want to pass my hint knowledge onto others! M-makes sense, right pal?"

Lumpy shrugged, "I guess. Look, we're almost there. Try not to be so nervous or someone might try to fuck with you."

Toothy forced a pained smile, "O-of course. Nothing to worry about!"

They were close to the camp then, and that's when things felt weird. There was heat in the air. There was the smell of blood. It wasn't long after that they saw the first corpse, with most of its top half ripped off. Toothy's eyes widened. Pop drew his gun. Lumpy just shook his head..

More bodies lined the road, all of them still oozing blood. All of them found it in the camp, but they heard it before they saw it. It squealed and the earth seemed to shake. Toothy froze in his tracks at the sound. His body was shaking. Across the way he saw it, standing ten feet tall even with how it was hunched over. The thing was pounding a body across the side of a stone hut that had once served as a bar. Its single enormous, tumorous arm was easily large enough to hold a body while the other arm hung shriveled and limp. The whole body of the thing was knotted with redundant flesh and sores, tumors and welts. The thing whirled around and the tossed the pulped body across the road. It squealed again, towards the sky, then looked down at the three that had just arrived. Two tusks twisted out of its face, blubber hung over them. It panted and the smell of buttercups rolled off its breath.

Pop pressed the trigger. There was a clap, the bullet caught the thing in the eye and it shrieked, then charged. Pop fired another, the thing's head recoiled but its body kept coming. He didn't have time for another shot. He dove to the side, Lumpy and Toothy dove to the other. The thing charged past them, turned and squealed again. Pop shot it in the side, it gushed blood but only seemed more vigorous. It came towards him now, frothing and gasping.

Toothy was cowering.

Lumpy bit down on something. He swallowed half of it. His pulse raced. He ran at the thing. He slammed his only fist into its side where the bullet had impacted. It shrieked and tried to knock him away. He dug his fist in deeper. Pop had loaded his gun again. He fired into the things face. Its throat. Its chest. Lumpy held it still by clutching its ribs hard enough to crack bone between his fingers.

It died. Pop shot it a few more times as it hung limp in Lumpy's grip. Lumpy threw it aside. There was no more sounds except the ringing in his ears.

Toothy pulled himself out of his hiding spot and crawled towards them, finally finding his sense again. He looked up to see Pop and Lumpy talking over the body of the thing.

"I think," Pop said, "I remember him."

"Yeah." Lumpy said, "He drank at this place sometimes. Think there's anyone left?"

Pop didn't answer. Maybe he didn't hear the question, "Knew him when he was younger. Truffles I think his name was. Wonder what happened to him."

Lumpy fished in his pocket. He dropped the half of the pill he had left onto the body of what used to be Truffles.

"Joy."


	6. Joyful 6

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

It seems a little self indulgent, I guess.

But here we are. Feels right, in a way. If that makes any sense.

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

Buddy hated this. She felt awful when Cuddles had taken her away from Lumpy. She felt even worse when she was brought there, to that concrete cage. The floor was better than dirt, and the blankets were warm, but she couldn't sleep. The food was good, but she hadn't found the will to eat more than a bite before the sobbing crept up her throat.

She cried. She cried more than she had ever in her life. Eventually she ran out of tears. That's when Cuddles came to her cage. He found her trembling. She was holding one of her ear, rubbing it guard unlocked her cage and let Cuddles in. He crouched next to her, but she didn't meet his eyes. She was wearing that mask Lumpy made for her. Cuddles pulled it aside. She let him.

"Buddy?" He whispered, "Are you okay?"

"No." She moaned, "Where's Lumpy?"

"He'll… he'll be here soon." Cuddles hated lying to her. It never got easier, "But look, we need to talk about why you're here. You know that, uh… shit."

"What? What's wrong?" She was clearly upset now.

"No no, just, don't get upset Buddy. This is good. This is why we brought you here. Because you're gonna save everyone. You know that? You… you know how you're different, right?"

"Because I'm a girl?" Buddy looked up at him now. He could see how red her face was

"Yes. You see, Buddy, you're the only girl left. You can, you can help us. There's only men left, Buddy. We can't make any more babies without women. We'll all die eventually and if we do, there'll be nobody left. You can help us all survive. It won't be easy. In a few years, o-one of these men are going to…"

"Do what?" Her face was troubled now.

"They're going to have sex with you. Maybe a bunch of them will. It's not going to feel good. It's gonna be strange and hurt. But do you understand why they're doing it? They're trying to put a baby in your belly. If you can give birth, you can save us."

Buddy was frowning now, "I don't want to. I don't want these men touching me."

"Listen, you're going to save us all. Please. Please realize how special you are."

Buddy looked away from him. She looked to her lap. She looked back at him. She opened her arms. Cuddles leaned in and hugged her. He stroked her hair.

"I'm so sorry Bu-"

He choked. Something hit him hard. A red rush of pain seared in from his side. Buddy had stabbed him. The mask slipped onto her face again. She threw him off and ran, right past the guard.

"Hey what the fuck?!" The guard pulled up his rifle and aimed to shoot her.

"NO!" Cuddles screamed, "Stop! You can't shoot her!"

"Shut the fuck up," The guard said. He walked into the cage with cuddles and smashed him in the face with the butt of his rifle, "How the fuck did you let her get away?!"

"I…" Cuddles gagged. He spat out a piece of tooth, "Just, just look." He gestured down, "She left this behind."

The guard crouched down, "What are you-"

Cuddles ripped the knife out his side and plunged into into the guard's throat. He stabbed the guard a second, and third time. The fifth time, he stopped moving. Cuddles stood up, clutching his side. He screamed for help, and several of the nearby guards crowded to him, asking him questions, demanding answers. One smashed him in the jaw and he fell to the ground. They kept screaming at him. It didn't matter to Cuddles. If they were attacking him, then they weren't chasing Buddy.

…

They left it behind, what was left of that camp. Lumpy, Toothy and Pop all silently agreed that there was nothing there for them now. That, and the smell of corpses was going to make Toothy puke. Again.

Some silence padded their travels. Toothy hated the silence. He asked from the back of the pack,

"So uh… what the hell was that, anyway?"

Lumpy didn't turn around, "Joy mutant. It's what happens when you take too much Joy."

"O-okay." Toothy nodded. He elected to quietly shove all of that to a dark corner of his mind, "So then, where are we headed now?"

"Giggles," Lumpy said, "she's the only one who could've done this. I was hoping we could get some more information or at least something useful from these guys. But, well, that didn't happen. So now we go straight towards her."

"Hey wait," said Toothy, "Isn't uh, Giggles, you know, the worst warlord around here?"

Pop chuckled, "Ha! Yup. She's the most rotten bitch in the entire wastes. Got quite a few people following her, since she's such a ruthless killer. She's done a good job of organizing everyone though, I have to give her credit. Makes me wonder what she used to be before all this happened…"

"Doesn't matter. She's a bitch." Lumpy said.

That sentiment started another bout of silence that lasted until they reached another cavern. Lumpy recognized this one as well. He rarely went out this far but he knew the lay of the land well enough. Candles were left around in oil pots to help guide them. The path was clear enough, but Toothy was still nervous. His eyes darted from place to place. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone on a ledge. The someone looked at him underneath his fedora, sneered and pointed at him,

"L-lumpy!"

Lumpy turned around. Toothy gestured up, but whoever it was had retreated.

"What?" Lumpy asked.

Toothy stammered for a second, then spat out, "Someone was watching us! I think we should be careful…"

"We're already being careful. But yeah, I don't doubt it. We're almost out of here anyway, c'mon."

The trio, Lumpy in the lead, pushed through the narrow cracks and ledges. It was quiet, save for the shuffling of their own feet and the dripping of the walls. Light was just up ahead, but Toothy still kept his eyes on their backs. Lumpy poked his head out into the midday light… and was cracked across the face with a metal bat.

Pop heard the noise and jumped out after him, "Lumpy!"

He was knocked clean out. Two brothers were aiming revolvers at them. Sneering. Toothy stepped out behind him,

"What's going-...shit."

…

The light was dim around him, but Lumpy's head still throbbed. He instinctively reached for the pocket he kept his Joy in. He'd forgotten that there wasn't going to be any in there and quietly cursed when he realized.

He opened his eyes. He was in some grimy warehouse. A man wearing dark glasses sat on a stool across from him. Two brothers were standing beside them, each holding revolvers. One of them offered his to Lumpy.

"We're gonna play a little game, old man," that brother chuckled, "It's called Russian Roulette. You know how to play, right?"

Lumpy looked around. Toothy, Pop, and a handful of other spectators sat on a catwalk above them. The man with the black glasses held a revolver to his temple. He didn't seem to realize what was going on.

"Yeah." Lumpy said, "Let's do this."

He pushed the barrel to his head. The brother holding the gun pointed at him.

"You." He said.

Lumpy pressed the trigger. There was a click. Nothing happened.

He turned to the man with the glasses, "You."

The man pressed down on his trigger. The bullet exploded out of the chamber and slammed into the far wall. He collapsed.

Lumpy kept the gun to his head, "There. Are we done?"

The brother holding the gun looked up at the catwalk. He looked to the far end, where a strangely dressed man was standing. He had a red bucket over his head, with only one eyehole cut in it. The man shook his head slowly.

The brother aimed the gun at his own brother. He tossed a bullet at his feet, "You. Pick up the gun. Put a bullet in it. Play."

"B-but" The brother trembled.

"DO IT."

Shaking, the brother fumbled a bullet into the chamber and spun it. He used his foot to push the corpse off of the stool. Lumpy spun his chamber again. Lumpy looked the brother right in the eyes. He was swimming in fear.

The gun was pointed at Lumpy. He pulled the trigger. A click. The brother followed. Click. Lumpy pulled. Click. Back. Click. Forth. Click. Back. Click.

The bullet exploded. The brother fell dead. His brains pooled next to the last man's. He stained the floor like a dozen other men. His brother looked up to the catwalk. The man in red shook his head again.

"I-I'm sorry Lifty." The brother pushed his own kins' corpse aside. He sat down across from Lumpy, spun his chamber. Lumpy did the same. "You first."

Lumpy pressed his trigger. Click.

"Game over." The brother said. He pulled the trigger. The third bang hardly registered to Lumpy. He just saw the body slump over. He lowered his gun and looked up to where that man was standing.

"We done here?" He asked.

The man nodded.

Lumpy stood up and dropped the gun on the brother's corpse. He looked at the gun the brother was clutching. He bent down and peeled it out of his fingers. He flicked the chamber open. Five bullets clattered out, one empty casing.

"Dumbass." Lumpy spat. He left through the warehouse door. Toothy called for him as he dashed down the fire escape.

"Lumpy! Man! A-are you okay?"

Lumpy nodded, "I'm fine, don't worry."

Pop was close behind, "Pretty lucky fella you are."

"Guess so."

Behind Pop stood that man. The one in red. His eyes were glowing yellow beneath his red bucket helmet.

Lumpy narrowed his eyes at him, "The fuck do you want?"

The man extended a gloved, tape-wrapped hand. His poncho shifted to the side to show he had two revolvers strapped to his side.

"So," Lumpy said, "You gonna shoot me?"

The man shook his head.

"You gonna shoot people for me?"

The man nodded.


	7. Joyful 7

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

I think it's starting to come back to me now

It's getting easier.  
They say the first step is always the hardest

Though I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

Pop tapped his finger on his chin, nodded and said,

"I figure if we cut through this area we'll be on our way right proper. We'll have to pass by the club, and I'm not particularly fond of the fucker who runs it, but it'll save us some time. Plus they've got a bar over there. We can pick up a few liquid rations if you know what I mean. God, my throat's been parched ever since we nearly died back there, and all the bullets I was sweating while you held a gun to your head certainly didn't help matters, I'll tell you what…"

Pop kept talking, but Lumpy stopped listening after he mentioned the club. Lumpy just let Pop ramble on like he loved to do. Toothy was on his other side, Buckets behind him.

"H-hey, uh, Lumpy?" Toothy said, "What's the deal with uh… him?"

Lumpy raised an eyebrow, "You mean Buckets?"

"His name is Buckets?"

"I dunno. I just figured I'd call him that. He doesn't seem to object."

Toothy frowned, "But why are we bringing him along? What if he betrays us?"

"He doesn't look like the type." Lumpy said plainly.

Toothy, "But… but how can you even say that? He doesn't LOOK like anything! He's wearing a bucket on his head for Christ's sake! How can we trust him?"

"Quit worrying so much. We'll find something to be worried about later."

That was hardly the most reassuring thing Lumpy could say, but it kept Toothy quiet for the time being. They reached the "Club" shortly after, the club itself being nothing more than an abandoned office building that had been repurposed as a hang out for one of the thugs. A sign reading "Disco's Discotheque" was hung over the door. A truck was parked nearby and some assholes were playing cards next to it.

"God. Can't stand those motherfuckers," Pop started up again, "With their ass-sounding music, their ugly ass hair, their ass-backwards clothing…"

Lumpy still wasn't listening. They planned to walk right by and keep on their way, when a drunken asshole stumbled up to them.

"Heeey, where you going man?" He pushed up against Lumpy. Lumpy shoved him away, but the asshole stayed on his feet, "W-what's the matter man? Don't you wanna see the girl?"

Lumpy froze. He whirled around,

"What the fuck did you just say?" Lumpy asked.

"Y-yeah," the asshole smiled, "She's in there. You heard about her, right? The only girl in the wasteland, and she's right in there. All you gotta do is buy like, six or seven drinks and Disco'll let you fuck 'er! I-I mean she's ugly as shit, but pussy is pussy… I just had her twice! You gotta try-"

Lumpy cracked the asshole across the jaw and he was sprawled out on the ground before Lumpy could even draw his fist back.

"Ahh, ahh what the fuck?" The asshole's jaw was already starting to swell, "What's your problem?"

"Hey Toothy," Lumpy said, "You wanted to know if we could trust Buckets, right? Buckets. Kill this asshole."

Buckets didn't say a word. Didn't nod. He pulled the revolver from his pocket, twirled it around his finger and blew the asshole's brains out.

Lumpy nodded, "Yeah. I trust him. How about you, Toothy?"

"Holy shit Lumpy." Toothy said.

Lumpy said, "And now, you're gonna do that to the fucker who runs this club, you got that, Buckets."

Buckets cocked his pistol. Lumpy shoved open the door. At this hour there was only a few drunks sitting around. They hardly cared when Lumpy cold-cocked the bouncer at the staircase to Disco's office, nor did they care when Buckets put a bullet in said bouncer's face and followed him up to the top floor where both Disco and the girl were waiting. Lumpy kicked in the door, but Disco didn't even jump up from the lounge chair where he sat, drinking and looking out his window the the wastelands

"Hey there cool cat," Disco said, stretching the 'hey' for as long as he could, "You here for a little playtime? Yeah you are? Girl's right in the back room. Have a little fun for Ol' Disco, will ya?"

Lumpy looked to Buckets.

"Him." he growled.

Buckets twirled his pistol and fired. Disco's head snapped back and he slumped over in his chair. Buckets twirled the gun back into his holster while Lumpy walked to the closet across the room, where she was being kept. His hands were trembling. He wasn't ready, but he had to see her. He just-

"You stupid fucker."

Lumpy spun around. Disco pulled himself out of his chair. There was bullet right between his eyes and a thin stream of blood dripping down his face but he still pulled himself out of his chair. He reached into the pocket of his leisure suit and slipped a blue pill past his lips. Lumpy cringed at the scent of buttercups.

"You're dead, fucker!" Disco charged him and slammed into him like a truck. The wall cracked behind him from the force of the impact. Disco pushed a hand onto his throat and started punching him in the guts. Lumpy struggled to put his hand on Disco and push him away, but the trauma in his stomach and the lack of air kept his limbs weak. He felt like he was going to white out.

Bucket squeezed both triggers at once, then again. His arms stayed steady as he put twelve shots into Disco's back, rapid fire. Disco dropped Lumpy, who was barely awake and choking on his own breath.

Disco growled, "Oh yeah? You too, fuckface?"

In one quick motion, Buckets slid both pistols to his side, then drew his hands over to his right side, where a large, gold-plated revolver rested under his arm. Disco charged. Buckets drew. A crash loud enough to shake the windows rolled out from the barrel and Disco skidded to a stop. He felt intense pain in his shoulder, but nothing in his arm. This was because his arm had been severed clean off.

"H-..hah… holy shit." Disco panicked. He was smiling, but he felt horrified. He reached for his Joy, pulled another pill out of his pocket. His hand was shaky, it slipped out and rolled across the floor.

"No, no." Disco followed it across the room, picked it up right before it rolled under his chair, "Yeah, this'll-"

The crash sounded out again. Disco, hit dead in the chest, flew backwards, right out his window. There was a dead thud. He was gone. Buckets holstered his pistol again. Lumpy managed to pull himself back up.

"Thanks Buckets." He said. Buckets didn't react. Lumpy finally pushed open the door. He needed to see Buddy now, more than ever. It was dark inside the back room. He fumbled for the lights.

"H-hello?"

Wait. That wasn't Buddy's voice. Lumpy's hand hit the light switch at last and the lights came on. There was a filthy mattress right in front of him, and laying on that mattress was a worker. The worker was tied, naked and sloppily covered in makeup

"Oh god please," He squealed, "D-don't fuck me. Please. My name is Handy and I'm not a woman! I, I have a mustache for God's sake!"

"What the fuck is this?"

The worker struggled in his bonds, "That sick fuck Disco, h-he brought me up here, drugged me and tied me up. He gets guys drunk and brings them up here to fuck me. He says I'm a girl and they're too drunk to realize I'm not! I'm not! Oh god I just wanna go back to driving my truck. Please! Anything but lying here and getting fucked!"

"...Is that your truck outside?"

"Y-yeah, yeah is!" Handy nodded desperately. "If you untie me, I'll bring you wherever you want!"

"To Giggles's base."

Handy nodded, "Y-yeah, what the fuck ever. I'll drive you right up to her front door! God just let me out!"

Lumpy leaned down and undid his restraints, then handed him a pair of pants that had been thrown in the corner. Handy clearly didn't care if they were his or not. He walked (crooked) with Lumpy and Buckets out of the club where Pop and Toothy were waiting by the corpse of Disco.

"So I guess you took care of things in there, given how that freak fell out of his window here. Who's he?" Pop asked and made a nod towards Handy.

Lumpy shook his head, "Apparently he was their 'Girl'. Now he's our truckdriver."

"Ha! A truck? Fantastic." Pop puffed his pipe, "I was getting tired of walking anyway. Never cared for it. I have more callouses on my feet than the time that potato slut of a wife of mine took us-"

There was a screech. Pop jumped forward. Disco's body began to twist and writhe on the ground. His neck stretched out on his spine as it grew, elongated with tumors. His remaining arm swelled and stretched, along with his legs, until he looked like some kind of freakish tripod. His eyes, both whitened and blurry, dangled out of his head. The Disco thing scanned over the party and shrieked again. Its head drew back, screaming all the while and-

Exploded. The scream had masked the crack of Bucket's larger gun. He had blown the things head clean off. The remainder of it collapsed in a pile of stretched flesh.

Lumpy, still awestruck, could only think to say,

"Thanks Buckets."

Buckets holstered his gun.

…

"So, she's fucking gone?" Giggles tossed her cigarette butt aside and lit another. Cuddles trembled.

"She… she stabbed me and the guard. She got away." He said.

"Because you had to go in there and play daddy. You want her to be a pussy like you? Then stop babying her, you faggot."

Cuddles could see Giggles's rage, even through that stolen face she wore like a hood. She put the second cigarette out on her own shoulder and shuddered,

"You fucked me, Cuddles. You have two options: You either unfuck me, or I fuck you back." Giggles growled, "Do you understand me? This is our fucking future. Her womb is the last one. You want to be the man who ended his own species? Get this fucking girl back."

"B-but how am I-"

"I gave you a gun, didn't I asshole? Figure it out."

Cuddles swallowed hard. He nodded.

"Good. Now get the fuck out of my face."


	8. Joyful 8

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

This party's getting a little… crowded.

I think I need to trim it down.

Four's a nice, neat number.

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

Handy's truck rattled along the dirt road, kicking up dust and rocks. Twilight was setting in now, so having a pair of headlights was a quiet blessing. Lumpy sat in the front with Handy. The other three rested in the back. Neither of them talked. The only words in the car came from the cassette tape Handy played in the stereo. Old mariachi music, from the sound of it.

"So uh," Handy said, "Why exactly are we headed to meet Giggles? You know she's kind of… a fucking tyrant, right?"

Lumpy shrugged, "I have to. She's got someone I care about."

Handy shook his head, "Listen man, I think if Giggles took someone from you, you oughta cut your losses. Nothing good'll come from this."

Lumpy thought a moment, then said, "I had two arms yesterday. I don't care if I have none tomorrow."

"...your funeral man. I'm just the taxi driver."

They were quiet again. The music played. Lumpy looked out his window. Handy watched the road. It'd be another half hour before they made it to Giggles', given the winding road they had to take to get there. All they could do now was ride.

"Hey…" Handy squinted. He could've swore he saw something shifting on the ridge next to them.

"What?" Lumpy asked. His voice was unconcerned.

"Something was-"

There was a screech. A thin-limbed form leapt from the darkness and landed on top of the truck, barely collapsing the top of it.

"Holy shit!" Handy swerved and struggled to keep the truck steady. He slammed on the brakes and whatever was on top of the truck was thrown off in front of them. The headlights saw it slam into the ground, then stand up on legs thrice the length of its body. Two arms dangled loosely at its side, as if the bones in them were broken in several places. Its head swayed back and forth, a frothing smile pulled its lips wider than they were meant to go.

"Holy fucking shit!" Handy screamed. Lumpy threw his door open and jumped out of the truck. Handy had tried to shift into reverse to escape it, but he wasn't fast enough. The thing snapped out like a trap, shattering the windshield with its face and grabbing Handy's head in its mouth. Lumpy watched it crunch down on Handy's skull, then shake his corpse around until his neck split and the torso went flying off.

From the back of the truck, Pop, Toothy and Buckets spilled out.

"Another one?" Pop drew his revolver. Buckets was already aiming his. The thing was closing in on Lumpy, who had landed harder than he expected. He couldn't pull himself up in time. The thing leaned down until it was face to face with him and it laughed. It laughed and showed off its elongated teeth. He… recognized it. It was a guy from the camp that would always beg Lumpy for some Joy. Nutty. That was his name.

Pop fired. Buckets fired. They both it, but it just seemed to irritate the thing. It howled, but the howl was a stuttering sort of thing, like a hyena. It almost sounded like laughter. Buckets shot it again, Pop followed. It recoiled from the shots, but it just hissed and laughed again. It stood up straight and started towards them on its long legs.

Toothy, meanwhile, was trying his best to hide. He watched his friends shoot the thing. He knew they couldn't kill it like that. Something welled up in his throat. His first thought was that it was puke, but when nothing came out, he decided it must've been courage. Toothy slipped out of the back, into the driver's seat. Thank god the keys were still there.

Buckets emptied out both pistols. Pop was struggling to reload. The thing was closing in on truck sputtered, Toothy slammed the gas and it kicked forward. He spun the wheel and skidded, the truck slamming its side into the thing. The truck kept going, dragging the thing along with it until it slammed into a rock wall and splatted the innards of both the thing and the truck across it.

Toothy, now panting, fell out of the side of the truck. He'd killed it. He felt something well up in his throat again, but this time it really was puke. When he looked up from his vomit, Lumpy was next to him.

"Hey. Not bad." He said.

Toothy was shaking, "Y-yeah, pretty heroic huh? Sorry about the truck."

Lumpy sat down next to him, "Fuck it. I need a rest anyway. We'll set up camp here. Make a fire or something."

That's just what they did. They were able to scrouge a few blankets and some kindling out of Handy's truck, lit a fire and set up camp for the night. Toothy and Pop fell asleep pretty quickly. Lumpy stayed up to tend the fire. And Buckets? Well it didn't surprise Lumpy that Buckets stayed up. They were sitting together, watching the flames crackle and spark. Lumpy couldn't believe his ears when Buckets spoke.

"Who is it?" He said.

Lumpy stared at Buckets.

"Who…" Buckets coughed. He didn't seem comfortable talking and his voice was strained, "Who is it? That you're looking for? The… girl?"

"How do you know I'm looking for anyone?"

Buckets's arm flipped out from underneath his poncho. His pistol twirled around his finger. He pressed the barrel to his head.

"I knew from the moment I saw you. You can see what a man truly is… when he has a gun pressed to his head. I've seen it before. I saw it in you. You're looking for someone. Someone you'd tear the world apart for."

Lumpy didn't say anything.

Buckets spoke again, "Would you kill for her? ...Kill Giggles? Kill me?"

"You're asking questions you don't want the answer to, Buckets."

Buckets nodded. "No. I want to hear it. I hate cowards. I hate people who won't get their hands dirty. Tell me."

Lumpy looked Buckets right in the eyes, "I'd kill anyone to keep her safe."

Buckets holstered his pistol. "I'm glad I followed you...Lumpy."

"Let's hope you don't live to regret it, Buckets."

Lumpy pulled his poncho over his body. He leaned up against the side of the truck and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight Buckets."

Buckets didn't seem to relax. He said, "Lumpy… My name isn't Buckets."

"What is it?"

Buckets looked down at the fire, "I hope you never live to learn it."


	9. Joyful 9

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Sometimes I can't really think of what to put here

...Trumpet lessons are hard.

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

Pop woke up first again, but Buckets was already up. Lumpy followed. Toothy had to be woken up again. The four were off at the crack of dawn. There was still a lot of ground to cover, even if they could now slip through a shortcut in a nearby valley that the truck couldn't have made it through.

"Hey Lumpy," Toothy said

Lumpy kept walking, "Yeah?"

"Well I was just thinking. Are you really sure we can do this? I mean, we are awesome and all, but uh, do you-"

"I dunno, honestly," Lumpy said, "I'm gonna fucking try. I don't have a choice."

Toothy nodded, forced a smile, "O-okay. Well you're my friend. So if you're gonna try, I'm gonna help, buddy!"

Lumpy flinched, "What?"

"I said I was gonna help you, buddy! P-pal?"

He shook his head, "Just… call me Lumpy."

Toothy withered back a bit, "Oh yeah. Right, cool. No problem."

Toothy bowed his head. Now that he was looking at the ground, spotted something. A little white mask, speckled with red paint.

"Hey, look at this." He scooped it up, "It doesn't look like any of the masks I've seen the gangs around here wear. Not even that one gang with the Joy…"

Lumpy looked over his shoulder. He saw that glint of white in Toothy's hands and whirled around. Lumpy snatched it out of his hands.

"Where did you find this?" Lumpy asked.

"It was just on the ground. I guess maybe," Toothy's eyes scanned around, he saw a small shelf in the rocks. It looked like something could hide in there, "Maybe it was in there?"

Lumpy dropped the mask and pushed his way inside the rocks. It was a tight fit, but once he pushed through the entrance he found more room than he was expecting. He stopped, turned and called back out to his friends,

"You guys stay out there. Just, uh, keep an eye out!"

He crouched through the small tunnel, no light but what shone in behind him. The light from outside slowly faded away as he crept deeper, but just when it seemed like that light had abandoned him, he saw another light. It was small, but close. He moved towards it, he thought he saw someone move in it, he reached his hand out.

A blade pressed against his throat. It felt like it drew just a drop of blood before it pulled back,

"L-lumpy?"

It was her. Buddy was standing in that dim candlelight, looking at him. She leaned down to pick up the candle. She lit a few more that had been extinguished around her. He could see her in full now. Her little poncho was bloody. Her face was dirty. He wanted to cry.

"Lumpy." She said again, "What's happening? Why did this happen?"

He fell to his knees, he hugged her. She realized he only had one arm now.

She was choking on tears now

"What happened to you?"

Lumpy shook his head, "It doesn't matter. I've got you now. Why did you run away?"

She pushed back, "I… I didn't. The men showed up with Uncle Cuddles. He, he said he'd keep me safe but… they killed Uncle Sniffles because he wouldn't let me go. I wanted to be safe. I was safe there. But. I didn't want to do it. Cuddles told me..."

Buddy stopped talking.

"Do what?" Lumpy felt his neck tense, "What did he do?"

"He didn't do anything. He just talked to me. About… about."

He gripped her shoulder and shook it, "What did he say? What did he do!?"

"He didn't do anything!" She shouted, "He didn't touch me!"

Lumpy stood up. He wasn't looking at her anymore. He grabbed her hand and turned around.

"We're leaving."

"But Lumpy-"

"We're leaving. Come on."

He tugged her hard enough to pull her off the ground. She followed now. He lead her out of the cave, into the light. Lumpy stepped out and found his friends on the ground, and his best friend waiting for him.

Flippy and his friends, the freaks with the masks. They all aimed down at Lumpy. One stood on Buckets's back, aiming at his head. Two others pressed their guns against the necks of the kneeling Toothy and Pop. Flippy was there, pointing with his machete. Lumpy's arm was now nailed to his helmet.

Flippy nodded his head towards Buddy, "Girl. Now."

Lumpy shoved Buddy, "Run!" he screamed. Buddy tried to run, but one of Flippy's friends smashed her in the side with their rifle. She collapsed in a gasping heap. Lumpy made towards her, but Flippy stopped him,

"Ah ah ah, no no no, you stay there." Flippy said, "We need to talk. This has been a long time coming, Lumpy. I thought maybe I could let bygones be bygones… oh who am I kidding, I never could? But really, this? This pushes it over the edge."

Flippy walked towards Buddy. He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up,

"Sweetie," He tapped her on the chin with his machete, "Look at me. Look at me. There we go."

Her eyes darted over to Lumpy for a split second. Flippy smiled.

Flippy said, "Oh, him? I wanted to ask you: Who is he?"

Buddy was going cry again, if she had the breath, "H-he's my… he's Lumpy. Please don't hurt him."

Flippy shook his head, "He should be hurt." He dropped Buddy, "He deserves it. He's a bad, bad man, sweetie. Look at this."

He took out a pill. A little round marble. It smelled like flowers. Buddy had seen them, before.

Flippy nodded, "Do you know what this is? Lumpy? He loves it. He'd do anything for it. He'd trade you for it."

"I haven't… I haven't in years!" Lumpy moaned, "Just let her go and then you can do whatever you want."

Flippy dropped her. A friend of his was quick to aim at her again. Flippy walked back to Lumpy, rolling the pill in his hand.

"Eat this." He held it up.

Lumpy shook his head. The friend near buddy smashed her in the back with his gun. She fell on her hands and knees. She was crying loudly now.

"Eat." Flippy said again.

Lumpy took the pill. He hesitated. He slipped it in his mouth and swallowed it. It came rushing back all too soon. The numbness. The feeling. The happiness. It was sickening. He hated it.

Flippy frowned, "Oh no. No no. This is all wrong. You're not happy. You should," he reached into his pocket, "Have another."

Lumpy trembled. One pill made him forget. Two pills made him drift too far away. But he wanted it. Flippy held the pill out and Lumpy snatched it, stuffed it in his mouth and swallowed.

"There's my old friend!" Flippy smiled again, "Have another. Have one more on the house."

Three pills. He'd never. He did. Lumpy swallowed the third pill. His body wasn't his anymore. He fell down. He knew Flippy was talking, but he couldn't hear it. He was gone.

…

Lumpy hated it. He hated his life now. He hated the nothingness. He hated how it was all gone. At least, before it happened, he could feel miserable. Now, there was nothing. Now he was alone. Now he was nobody. He just slept, drank, ate. There was nothing else. There was nothing to live for.

But he loved her.

Lumpy loved Buddy. He loved her more than life itself. He watched her grow up. He helped her. He kept her safe. She loved him too. She wanted to be held by him. She wanted him to be… her dad.

Lumpy looked down into his arms. He wasn't holding her. He held Buddy a second ago, but now she was gone. He looked up and Cuddles stood there. Cuddles was holding her now.

"You can't." He said. "She's gone now. She belongs to us."

Lumpy fell. He fell to his knees at first. Then he was falling. Something caught around his neck and tightened. He looked back up, but Cuddles was gone. She was holding Buddy now. She was rocking Buddy in her arms. She was dressed like she had been that night. She was wearing that little dress. It was torn, just like Lumpy had torn it. Rope coiled around her neck.

"She's gone now." She said.

Lumpy choked, "Lammy?"

"She's gone now." Lammy said, "You can't."

Lumpy closed his eyes hard, but when he opened them, Buddy was grown. She was standing in front of him. She had blade pressed to his throat.

"I know." Buddy said, "And I hate you."

…

Lumpy gasped. He was there. On the cold rocky ground. Pop had started a fire. Toothy was staring up at the stars. Buckets hadn't done much. Pop didn't look at him.

"So she's… what you're looking for." Pop finally said. "When did you plan on telling us?"

Lumpy said, "It didn't matter. You said you'd help me. Why should you care if-"

Pop looked up, "Because it's a very different game, Lumpy. You know why she's important. Our future. I mean, as fucked up as Giggles is, don't you think she's a little safer there, than with you in some hut?"

Lumpy stood up now, "It doesn't matter! She's not a baby machine, she's a little girl! She doesn't deserve this!"

"Who the fuck deserves any of this, Lumpy!" Pop shouted back, "If she's our only hope to bring back the goddamn species then what-"

Toothy screamed, "Stop! Stop it! Just… stop. Please."

They were both quiet.

Toothy stared at the ground, "We just, need to get to her. Maybe she can stay with Giggles. F-flippy, he said he was going to bring here there. Maybe Lumpy can, work something out. She's not a monster, Giggles. She knows what this must be like. We can talk to her. We just… we'll talk to her."

Lumpy sat back down. Pops sat down. He started tending the fire again.

"Fine." Lumpy finally said, "In the morning. We'll go."

Pop nodded, "In the morning."

…

Lumpy was awake first. He'd never gone to sleep. The fire was out. It was still late at night. Buckets was still awake. He always was.

Lumpy started away from the camp. Buckets was right behind him.

Buckets spoke. It was still hard for him. "Where are you…"

"I need to find her. You don't have to come. I don't want those other two coming at all. I'm not even sure if I trust you."

Buckets didn't react, "You can."

"I don't why I believe it. But I do." Lumpy said, solemnly.

They had a long distance to cover before dawn.


	10. Joyful 10

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

This is painful.  
I'm not sure if I can keep it going

I guess stopping now would be even worse.

My head hurts.

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

Flippy slept. His friends had gone. They had wandered off, like they did, singing or just staring off into this distance. They be back when he needed them, like they always did, but that just meant he'd be sleeping alone. With Buddy. He'd tied a little rope around her neck, tied it to his wrist. She wouldn't be going anywhere.

Buddy couldn't sleep. The rope was tied too tightly and dug deep into the meat of her neck, but that was the last thing on her mind. She wanted to see Lumpy again, but at the same time she wanted to be as far away from him as possible. She wanted to see Uncle Cuddles again, but she felt like if she did, she'd die.

She needed something. Something to dull this feeling. This sickness. She saw the pouch hanging from his hip. She remember how Lumpy looked when he swallowed it. It was the first time he'd seen him smile since all this started.

She crawled on her hands and knees toward him, moving as slow as she could stand. Flippy didn't stir. She leaned down and tugged on the pouch, but it wouldn't come off. She bit at the rope tied around his side and gnawed on it until it finally fell loose, right into her waiting hand. There was at least a dozen or so of the little round marbles in there. Maybe more.

She picked one up, swallowed it.

Buddy felt it immediately. She felt euphoria wash over her.

But there was something gnawing at her neck. Not the rope, something else. The little twinge of anger in her was electrifying her mind now. She gritted her teeth. She grabbed the rope that held her to Flippy and gnawed on it until it snapped.

Flippy stirred. He opened his eyes and saw Buddy was now loose, holding his joy.

"What the, what are you doing?"

Buddy turned and tried to run, but Flippy caught her by the spare length of rope that still dangled from her neck

"You need to sit down little girl. You need to be quiet or I'll have to-"

Buddy, choking now, was groping blindly at Flippy. Her hands found his machete. She pulled it loose and drew it across his chest. Flippy didn't react, but his muscles twitched. His grip on the rope loosened and Buddy ran. She cut the rope from her neck with the blade, turned and tossed it at Flippy in the hopes that it would deter him from following, but Flippy hadn't taken a step towards her.

The machete clattered at his feet. He bent down to pick it up.

Flippy grunted, almost amused by her. He dipped his fingers in the thin blood dripping down his abdomen. The smell of it surprised him. He put his helmet back on and started in the opposite direction.

Back towards Lumpy.

…

Lumpy and Buckets hadn't made it too far, the sun was just starting to peek over the horizon. It was good that it had, because without the light they wouldn't have seen Flippy waiting for them.

"Lumpy!" Flippy called out.

Lumpy called back, "Where the fuck is she?"

"She's gone. She's got all my Joy too. You really are a bad influence, you know that?"

Lumpy's anger clenched in his throat, "You gave her Joy?"

"She stole it from me, right before she sliced me up." Flippy jumped down from the rock he was standing on. He tapped his machete on Lumpy's cheek, "But that doesn't matter. We're gonna play another game."

Lumpy didn't flinch. "Why are you doing this, Flippy? What's your problem with-"

Flippy slammed the blade of the machete into the meat of Lumpy's side, right between his ribs. Lumpy gasped. He wanted to fall over, but Flippy held him upright with the machete

"You… you really want to ask me that? You really want to fucking ask me that?" He rocked the blade back and forth in Lumpy's side. "You don't realize, do you? You don't know what happened. You don't think about anything but yourself, do you, Lumpy? Do you think that… that I'm just some kid? Some nameless Joy pusher? I guess… I guess it's all my fault, really." He sawed the blade in, more slowly now. There was blood in Lumpy's mouth.

"If I hadn't sold you the Joy, you wouldn't have… no. No you would have. You're a monster. You would've done it to her 're a sick fuck like that. I bet you're still glad you did it." Flippy pulled the blade out. The thin blood oozed.

"Do you know what she meant to me? I didn't have enough money for her. When the guy offered me the drugs, paid me more than you could imagine, just to sell them. I couldn't refuse. I'd be able to take care of her. And you did it. And she's dead now." Flippy looked like he was going to cry.

Flippy composed himself. He smiled. "Now… now we're going to play this game. Because of what you did to me. And what you did to her. Only one of you is walking past me. You get to choose Lumpy. You. Or your friend."

"No."

Buckets drew his revolver. The glint of gold flashed in the peeking sunlight. The crash rolled out over the dust and Flippy chest exploded into a gout of red.

But he was still standing.

Flippy slowly drew his head back up

"Never do that again." He said. The blood was pooling at his feet now. He didn't care. He brandished his machete "Now Lumpy. You choose. You. Or-"

Something clattered at his feet. A revolver. Buckets was holding one to his head.

Buckets spoke.

"We'll play. My game. Lumpy goes. We stay."

Flippy picked up the revolver. He stared at Lumpy, then looked to Buckets.

"You're going to defend this piece of shit? Do you know what he-"

Buckets cut him off, "I don't care. I've watched him risk his life over and over again. If there's such thing as penance, he's made it."

Flippy looked to Lumpy. He pressed the revolver to his own head.

"Leave. Now." Flippy said. Lumpy staggered away from them, clutching his poncho into his side to try and stem the blood loss. Flippy turned his attention back to Buckets.

"You know," Flippy said, "I think you're trying to cheat me."

"How so?" Buckets asked.

"That helmet of yours. It'll stop the bullet, won't it? Take it off."

Buckets lowered his pistol. He pulled the bucket off of his head with one hand. Let it clatter to his side. Her red hair spilled out over her shoulders. Her eyes were just as intense as they were behind the mask. Her lips, though once beautiful, were frozen ina scowl.

"Do you think," She placed the revolver back to her head, "I'm a coward? Because I wore it? I felt like one. But now? Now I feel brave. Brave enough to die, but not as Buckets. I want to die as Flaky."

Flippy was trembling. He pulled the trigger. He pulled it again. He didn't wait for Flaky to pull her trigger. He pulled again. Again.

Lumpy heard the crash over his shoulder. He didn't flinch. He didn't look up. He kept walking.

...

Buddy hadn't stopped running. Not once. Her body was stronger than it was before. The pills she now had tucked into her poncho were stronger than she could've imagined. She felt all at once, furious and joyous, she felt like killing and singing, she felt like skipping and stomping. She needed to see him. She needed to see Uncle Cuddles. She felt it in her heart. She felt clarity.

Cuddles didn't even know that, on the road he'd stumbled down, he'd been waiting for her. Cuddles had resigned in his mind to just follow Buddy's trail until he collapsed and then let himself die in the dirt. Imagine his surprise when she ran into him

"Uncle Cuddles!" She buried her face in his chest, "Uncle, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to run. I was just scared… but I understand now! I understand that I can help everyone! I want to go back."

Cuddles didn't know what to say. Something about her didn't seem right. He didn't recognize the smell on her breath.

"What do you-" He caught himself. Was he really going to question something like this? This was what they needed. What they all needed. He hugged her tight, "Y-yeah Buddy. We're gonna go back. And I'm gonna make them treat you better. You're special… you deserve something special."

"Hey."

Cuddles froze. That voice.

"Hey asshole…"

It was Lumpy. He let go of Buddy. Buddy ducked behind him.

Lumpy was there. His arm was gone, he was cut badly, and he was covered in blood. But it was him, that was for sure. He started walking towards them. Cuddles pulled his rifle off of his back.

"Buddy…" Cuddles whispered.

She clung to him, "Don't let him take me. I don't want to go back to hiding."

Cuddles swallowed hard and said, "Buddy. Run. I want you to run back to Giggles. Just run away from here as far as you can go. D-do you think you'll make it?"

Buddy nodded. She didn't wait for another cue to sprint away from Lumpy with all her heart. Lumpy reached out to her and lunged forward, but Cuddles raised his rifle.

"Lumpy… Just, just let her go man." He clicked the safety off.

Lumpy kept walking towards them.

Cuddles turned the switch to automatic, "Lumpy please. She's safer there. She'll be okay. I promise. I'll stay with her. I'll watch over her."

Lumpy didn't stop. Cuddles squeezed the trigger and fired. A hail of bullets sputtered out in threes. Several of the shots caught Lumpy. None of them seemed to slow him. Lumpy kept walking, the bullets kept coming. He grabbed the barrel of the gun, pulled it to the side and slammed Cuddles' chest with it. Cuddles collapsed in a heap, he felt several of his ribs broken. He reached out to Lumpy. Lumpy swung the gun down on him again, like a club. He slammed it again and stopped moving. His belly had split open. Blood and pulp spewed out with each hit. Lumpy kept hitting him.

Lumpy dropped the gun. He was covered in blood, not all of it his. Cuddles was long dead.

Instinctively, he fished in his poncho pocket.

Someone had put Joy there.


	11. Joyful 11

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

This won't be pretty

Then again. At what point was this ever pretty?

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

And so Lumpy was alone now. The Joy slowed the bleeding as he walked through the camp. He wasn't sure when he reached it, but now he walked. Alone. Not a soul was there. Fires had been hastily extinguished. Barriers were left open. Generators left running.

He walked. In complete silence. His mind buzzed. His muscles twitched. He walked past Giggles's banners. Her prisons. Her barriers. Then he was there. They were waiting for him. Giggles' personal army. Thirty or so men, all armed to the teeth. They had armor, long spears and knives. Bows were drawn. A handful of rifles were scattered amongst them.

"Get the fuck out of here, nutjob!" One of them called from the crowd

Another cried, "We knew you were coming! She told us! She hates you!"

"Get out of here!"

"Leave!"

"Off yourself, old man!"

He clenched his fist. Furrowed his brow. Grit his teeth. He wouldn't let them stand between him and Buddy. If he had to fight them all with nothing but two bloody nubs. Lumpy wasn't leaving. Buddy was coming home with him.

"Lumpy!"

His eyes snapped open. Lumpy looked over his shoulder. Toothy was there.

"Lumpy." He said again, "I don't know if I can fight anymore Lumpy. I wanted to tell you something."

Toothy was trembling. His entire body was shaking with something that was both terrified and resolute.

"When we first met, I wanted to die. I was all alone. I would've done anything for a friend. That dog that was attacking me, I trained it to do that. I prayed someone would come and save me. And when it was you? When this adventure started? I felt… I felt like a hero. But now? This? I can't do this Lumpy. Please. We need to stop. If I, if I do anything heroic in my life it'll be stopping you. She needs to be free."

Lumpy's expression dimmed. He didn't respond. Toothy grabbed his wrist, but Lumpy pulled away. He was stronger than Toothy. They both knew that.

"Lumpy."

Lumpy shook his head, "Then I'll kill you too."

Toothy, still shaking, raises his fists. Lumpy swung at him with a hook to the temple. It felt like should've torn Toothy's head clean off. He didn't fall down. He didn't stand down. He was still shaking, but Toothy still stood.

Lumpy struck him again. And again. Tears were running down his face. Toothy buckled under the weight of one of the punches and fell to the ground. He tried to get back up, but Lumpy stomped down on his chest. He kneeled down, pressing his knee into Toothy's sternum and kept hitting. He punched Toothy until his face was caked in blood. He kept punching. The army, the men, the looked on in silence. All that echoed through the camp was the sound of a man beating a man to death.

Toothy was dead.

Lumpy didn't say a word. He looked at the men.

"You… sick fuck!" One of them said. Another fired an arrow at him. It hit him in the shoulder, but he didn't feel it.

"I can't believe we were gonna let you live!" A man shouted. His friends chimed in

"You're gonna die old man!"

Lumpy shook his head.

"No. I've been dead. For the last 30 years I've been dead. Today is when I live."

He walked toward them

"What… what is he doing?"

He walked into them.

"Oh my god, someone stop him!"

There were bodies around him.

"What the hell is he made of? He won't die!"

He walked through them.

"Just… just let him take the girl! Let him take the girl!"

They were silent. There were none left.

Lumpy pushed open the door to Giggles' room.

"Buddy?"

…

"Buddy, was it?" Giggles asked.

Buddy nodded.

"Listen," Giggles continued, "I guess, first thing I need to do is apologize. This whole thing, this world we're living in. It's disgusting. I'm sorry you have to live in it. And I'm sorry for what you need to do. But you do understand that this is something that has to happen, don't you?

"I do." Buddy said.

She took a drag on her cigarette, "You don't have to put on a brave face for me. Buddy. What I'm asking you to do is something that should never be asked of any woman, let alone a girl your age. But do you know why I'm asking you to do it?"

"Because I'm special?"

Giggles let out a small laugh, "I wish it was just that. Buddy, have you ever known someone who has spent their entire life trying to make up for a mistake they know could never be forgiven?"

Buddy didn't answer.

Giggles reached behind her head. She unlaced the face she wore, set it down on the table beside her. Underneath the leather mask of skin, she was warmingly beautiful.

"When this all happened," Giggles said, "There was two of us. Myself and Petunia. We were hidden away from everything. We knew we'd be the saviors of this whole godforsaken rock. And you know what happened? I got jealous. I didn't want t share the world with her. She was a bitch anyway. So killed her. Can you believe it? Only a handful of women left in the world and I killed her because I'm a petty little cunt. But it gets worse."

Buddy looked worried.

Giggles puffed her cigarette again. "Buddy, do you know what 'infertility' is? It's when a woman can't have children. I thought I was special, but I wasn't. I didn't know for years. I thought I had doomed the world. But then you showed up. You were my second chance. I didn't think I deserved it. I still don't think I deserve it. But the world does. Do you think the world deserves a second chance?"

Buddy let a tear slip down her face, "Yes."

There was a commotion outside. Shouting.

"Buddy. I need you to hide. Underneath the bed. Don't come out until you hear me tell you to. Do you understand?"

Buddy nodded. She slipped under the bed and covered her eyes. She heard the door open. She heard Lumpy's voice.

"Buddy?" He asked.

Giggles said, "What… what did you do to them? You killed all of them, didn't you? Get out! Get out of here!"

"Where is she?"

"You honestly think I'll give that girl to someone like you? You're a monster!"

Something was hit. Something was thrown on the bed. Something else climbed on the bed after it. Buddy didn't peek. She laid there quivering.

"No. No get off of me! Get off-"

Something was choking. Struggling. Loudly. It quieted down. It stopped completely. Something climbed off of the bed.

"B-buddy?" Lumpy called. "Buddy?"

Lumpy turned and started to walk out of the room. Buddy couldn't take it anymore. She crawled out from under the bed. He was standing in the doorway. His body was broken. He was covered in his own blood. Weapons snapped off in his body. Arrows covered his back. He looked down at her. He was crying.

"Buddy."

Buddy shook her head, "Why? Why did you do this? You ruined everything."

"I just-"

Buddy wouldn't hear him, "What? What did you want? To keep me locked up forever? To let me wither in your basement? I could've helped everyone Lumpy. I hate you! You killed everyone! You killed me! ...you killed yourself."

Lumpy fell to his knees.

"Buddy. Could I ask you for something?"

"Buddy didn't answer.

"Could you hold me? I forgot what it feels like."

Buddy felt the anger in her body melt. She took a deep breath. She wrapped her little arms around his bloodied body. He died there. In her arms. Kneeling. She almost swore she heard him whisper her name. But she knew he didn't.


	12. Joyless

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

 **Joyful Tree Friends**

"This is the final stroke of it all. Right here. She's the final piece. She'll ensure that the world I make today is mine and mine alone."

"Her name is Pippy. My own daughter. The implement of my genius. The cornerstone of my new kingdom."

"You're sick."

"Are you still here, Flippy? I gave you the last of the Joy. Now are you going to sit here and dawdle, or are you going to get your revenge on him?"

"...fine."

"Oh, and one more thing. After this, we're done. You get what you want. I get what I want. Then we leave each other alone."

"Fine."

…

Buddy didn't know where to go anymore. Everyone. Every single person was dead. Right outside the door was a road of corpses that Lumpy had laid out. In the room was his corpse. And Giggles. The last two glimmers of hope she had were now sharing a death bed. She dragged him onto it in his final moments. It just seemed right.

But there was nothing left for her here. She had to go.

"Bud...ddy…"

Her ears perked up.

"B-buddy…."

She turned. No. No no no no no. It wasn't.

"Bud..ddy… pl..ease…"

Lumpy's body was twisting. It was shifting and curling. His arm was swollen, his body a pile of flesh. She fell backwards and started to crawl away. He grabbed her leg with his malformed appendage and started to drag her back towards the bed.

"Budd...buddy…." He moaned. He was crying. He was choking. He couldn't breathe.

A crash blew through the room. Lumpy's sole arm was torn off. He wailed. Someone grabbed Buddy from behind and pulled her out of the room by her poncho. They threw her on the ground. Buddy looked up.

It was a woman.

"I'm sorry." She said. "Lumpy is… no longer himself."

Buddy blinked, "I can see that. But, who are you?"

"My name is Flaky. I'm a friend of Lumpy's. I helped him. Now I am helping you. Look around."

Buddy didn't want to, but she did. Bodies were everywhere. The smell of blood and filth was heavy.

Flaky nodded, "Pick something. That will be what you defend yourself with."

Buddy saw a long handled sword buried in the ground. She dislodged it with a little effort and was relieved to find it was mostly clean of blood.

:"Good, now this, "Flaky held out her hand. She was holding a mask made out of a red bucket, "Please put this on. It'll keep you safe, for now."

Buddy held the mask apprehensively, "But how will-"

"If they don't know what you are, they won't hurt you." Flaky said, "It worked for me. For many years."

"...good point." Buddy slipped the mask over her head.

It was a little hard to see, but it got easier as Flaky lead her through the camp by her hand. It also helped that she could no longer see the corpses that were littered all around. They kept walking, in relative silence, until they were clear of the camp. They sat down by a cliff and Flaky scrounged up some brush to start a fire with. She let Buddy play with her sword.

"You're quite good with that." Flaky said, "Were you ever trained?"

"Yeah, Lumpy taught me a little bit." Buddy said.

Flaky nodded, "He must've really cared about you to teach you that."

"...I guess. He just wanted me to protect myself."

"He's right to want that. It's not easy," said Flaky. "Especially not for a woman. Do you know how I survived?"

"No, how did you survive."

Flaky smirked, in a grim sort of way, " I couldn't deal with the idea of being the only woman left. I lost myself. I made myself forgot about how valuable I was. I gambled my life. I lived every day hoping I'd die, I even tried to make it happen. I started to live on the edge, knowing at any second I could die and leave everyone to slowly turn to dust. It was exhilarating, it gave me reason to keep living, but it was shameful. I can't believe I did what I did, seeing how Lumpy…"

She couldn't finish. Buddy had to urge her on, "How Lumpy what?"

"Lumpy risked his life. Over and over again. He threw away his body. For you. He knew you were valuable, but not because you were a woman. He valued you because he loved you. More than life. When I saw him, I decided that if I threw my life away it would be for something beautiful, like he did."

Buddy scowled.

Flaky said, "Buddy. Please understand, Lumpy was selfish, but he did not act for himself. He only wanted what he thought was best for you. Whether he's wrong or right doesn't matter anymore. Just know that he loved you."

"...yeah. He did."

Buddy curled up in her poncho. She yawned. She wanted to sleep.

Flaky kept tending the fire. She said,

"You can sleep. I'll stay up and watch over you."

And so Buddy did. As she drifted off, she swore she could hear a lone trumpet playing on the wind. She dreamed, but of what she wasn't sure. Scattered thoughts. Some screams. Of Lumpy. She dreamt of the song she could barely hear. She dreamt of when she was younger. She slept easy, for once. But she didn't sleep for long. Flaky woke her up suddenly.

"Buddy," She said, "Put on your mask."

Buddy didn't hesitate. She slipped the bucket over her head and pulled her poncho close to her neck. Flaky pulled her own poncho up over her mouth. It wasn't much of a disguise, but it would have to do. The men were already on their camp. A small battalion. One in the front looked them over with his one eye, tapping his hook on his chin.

"Ahoy there, name's Russell." He said, "You two wouldn't happen to know what happened to ol' Giggles' place, would you?"

Flaky didn't answer.

"Because, well, what I heard was that the little girl that she had there escaped. And y'know, I hate to jump to conclusions, but I'd say a little kid in a mask, so close to where that all went down, warrants the need for investigating. Wouldn't you fellas agree?"

Russell's men all nodded and laughed.

Flaky drew her pistols. He poncho flew off, exposing her face.

"Leave us." She said.

"Well well well, what do we have here?" Russel laughed, "ANOTHER woman? Two for the price of one? Holy shit! Where've you been for the last 20 years? Put those little peashooters away sweet cheeks. Do you see how many of us there are? It'd take a miracle to get you out of this…"

Trumpet music howled through the winds. There was a screeching roar. Joy mutant leapt out of the air and came crashing down, crushing two of Russel's men with its impact alone. It was a lizard-like thing, with limbs the length of telephone poles and a gator's jaw long enough to snap around a man whole. Which it did, snapping up the man beside Russell.

"Well. Shit." Russell said plainly.

Flaky turned to Buddy.

"Run."

Buddy did. Behind her, the mutant went into a frenzy, killing men left and right. Buddy kept running, but she didn't go too far. She hid in a small rock wall nearby, so as not to leave Flaky behind. She couldn't go on without her, after all. It felt like they were fighting for hours before it finally seemed to calm down.

Voices were headed her way. Footsteps. She gasped when she realized that they were men's voices.

"Shit Russell… what the fuck was that thing?"

Buddy couldn't believe it. Russell was still alive.

"Does it matter?" He said, "We scared it away… And we've got her. Still breathing and everything."

Buddy peeked out of the rocks. They were dragging Flaky by her leg. This couldn't be happening. They were going to… they had her. They were taking her away. She had to do something…

Buddy rattled the pouch at her side.

…

"Drive it deep." Lumpy said.

"Little girl please. Please don't listen to him! Help me!"

"You need to be able to kill if you want to survive. Take a life at a moment's notice." Lumpy said.

"He's insane. Look at what you're doing! He's trying to make you-"

She dug it into his throat. She twisted it. She pulled it out. The man gurgled for a moment. He was dead.

"Good," Lumpy nodded. "But next time he won't be tied up."

…

Night had fallen on Russell's camp. It was smaller than Giggles', but he was still the number 2 warlord in the wastes. Though his numbers were now significantly lacking. Less than ten men were patrolling now. That was all he had to spare.

One guard went off his post to take a piss. He didn't come back. The guard posted with him went to see what had happened. He joined his friend in a heap in the corner. If Buddy could thank Lumpy for anything, it was being able to kill.

She crept to the next post. Two guards were talking.

"I'm surprised she gave up so easily…"

"Yeah, I was hoping for a little more struggling. Russell's a lucky fucker, though. Who'da thunk she was still a virgin? He got the last bloody dick the wasteland'll ever see…"

Buddy felt it swelling up again. The rage. They did it. They did it to her. They…

When she opened her eyes, they were dead. She must've stabbed them a dozen times each. She was panting.

There were still more.

And when there were no more, she opened the door to Russell's little throne room. She felt sick at what she saw, but her mask showed sat on a throne of scrap metal, Flaky kneeled between his legs. She was naked, bruised all over, crusted with blood. Her eyes were wide and glassy. He was stroking her head with his good hand

"The fuck is this? Is this… the little girl?"

Buddy took off her helmet, she let it clatter to the ground. Flakly shook her head. She mouthed the word "No".

"My name is Buddy, asshole. Let her go. Now."

Russell laughed, "Are you fucking kidding me? You're making demands of me? Do you realize who you're talking to?"

"Your men are dead. All of them. I'll kill you too." Buddy said.

Russell shook his head, "You think I fucking care? I still have your little friend. I still fucked her. You don't understand how these things go, do you? I have the chips here. You have nothing. So how about this, you bend you little ass over for me and I won't split your friend's cum-bloated belly right here?"

Buddy was taken back

"B-but, but I-"

"You don't know this world kid. You're a sheltered little dumbass. Now you're gonna… you know what? Fuck it."

Russell grabbed Flaky's head, pulled it back, and dragged his hook across it. Her throat split open, blood dribbled onto her chest. She fell forward into a puddle of her own blood.

"She was boring anyway. I'm gonna have a lot more fun breaking your stupid mind and making you into a little fucksleeve."

Buddy snapped. She screamed, charging at him. She slammed her sword into his chest and ran him through, straight out the back of his own throne. She stepped back and watched as the fear of death dawned on his face. His one eye widened, he looked down at the wound… and scowled. He grabbed the blade of the sword with his bare hand and pulled it out. He tossed it aside.

"I didn't get to be the number 2 warlord around here being a fucking pussy, kid."

Buddy backed up, but Russell was already on her. He slashed his hook hand across her face. It knocked her backwards, caught her left eye and tore it open. She rolled out of the door and ended up on all fours. She tried to crawl away, Russell was on top of her. He turned her over, started to split her clothing down the middle with his hook. She was crying. He was laughing. Trumpet. The trumpet she heard before. It was in the air.

There was a crunch.

Buddy opened her eye. The mutant from before. It now held Russell in its mouth. It swallowed him whole, then skittered back. She stood up. A man was standing beside it. He was dressed strange, in broken glasses and garish clothing. He held a trumpet in his hands.

"D...disgusting." He mumbled. "People like him are disgusting. There's no place for them in my world."

Buddy could hardly breathe, but she managed to ask, "What… who are you?"

"I'm sorry." He said, "I'm so very sorry Pippy. But you weren't supposed to live this long. Please let Mumbo kill you quietly. This will be much easier on us all…"

He pressed the trumpet to his lips and started playing his melody again. The beast responded. It screamed and lunged at her. She closed her eye and prepared for death.

The beast recoiled. Buddy opened her eye. Flippy was standing between her and it. His head was cracked on one side. His machete had fresh blood on it.

"Go. Go now. Find that man. He's the cause of all this." He said.

Buddy ran. She could hear Flippy fighting with the thing, it almost sounded like he was winning. Buddy didn't stop to check. She chased the melody to its source. The man was standing at the edge of a cliff, playing his little tune.

"Hey!" She screamed.

The man stopped playing, "Why… are you still here? Why didn't you die like a good girl? I'm v-very upset with you. As your f-father…"

"You're not my dad. My dad died."

The man turned around, "Y-you think he's… he's a druggie and an idiot. He… he. I'm going to kill you. I'll do it myself and that'll be the end of it. Then I'll have this little world to myself. It'll be mine."

Buddy almost laughed. She reached to her side. She held out a little knife.

"You're going to kill me? ...You're not the first man to say that to me. But you're the first pussy who couldn't look me in the eyes when he did it. Now you're gonna talk… or I'm gonna cut the answers out of you."

The man trembled. "Fine…. fine you little freak. You think you're tough because you took My J-joy… Well. Uh. My name is Re-"

A machete whirled out from behind Buddy. It soared over her head and hit the man in the face. His body was thrown off the cliff. His trumpet clattered on the cliff's edge. Flippy stumbled out. It looked like half his body had been torn off.

"Don't… listen to that man." He said. "He's filth. You don't want to fill your head with his lies."

"But. But he was the only one who knew what happened! He was… he knew what I-" Buddy said.

Flippy said, "No, no it doesn't matter. This isn't his sick little world anymore. I'm sorry. Buddy." He collapsed to his knees, "I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I tormented Lumpy. It's true… he's a bad man. He hurt me more than you could imagine. But at the same time, I'm no better. I ruined a woman's life, just like him. The difference between him and I? He tried to help you. I sat back and let her die. I'm… filth."

He felt like he was going to fall on his face.. Buddy caught him. "Buddy… it's not too late for you. Promise me you'll never take those pills again. Promise me you'll make this world better. Reece. That man. He wanted the world to be his. It can be y-your.s..s.s...Its… Yours… L-lammy…"

Buddy stepped back. Flippy's flesh was undulating underneath his skin. Turning. His blood was thin. She smelled buttercups. His head started to revolve unnaturally. His arm twisted out and elongated. He smiled.

"Lammy… Lammy… Llllammy…..la...amm..y..y…"

Buddy trembled. She held firm. She picked up her knife, but when Flippy lunged out, it wasn't at her. He bit into his own flesh. He scratched at his own skin. She watched as Flippy tore his own body apart, bit by by, until he couldn't move anymore. He ended it himself.

She draped what was left of her poncho over his face.

…

Fires were lit all along the way. Trash can sigils that she burned for him. She walked up to the little shrine, with a baby in one arm and the trumpet in the other. She sat down, put the baby in her lap, and started to play her father's trumpet. Lumpy smiled. His head swayed to her tune. She loved him. He loved her.


End file.
